What is God up to? I posed this question to God during a 10 year period of constant issues, one after the next.

As financial ruin seemed inevitable and no human help was on the horizon, the multitude of doors shutting sounded like a resounding “BOOM.” Hundreds of interviews, hundreds of resumes, pounding the pavement every day and still nothing. This, coupled with a flood that hit our home and nearly destroyed our house and did destroy our car. Repairs had to be made immediately. As time continued, my husband broke his leg twice and had a job but was not working during a part of this period. We were sinking.

Part-time was not enough and there were many people looking for jobs. It seemed everything was paying $10 an hour. I would go to interviews and the entire lobby would be filled with job applicants. It was not just the job search; I had an illness at the same time also. I knew God wanted me to work and I was convinced that He wanted me to be productive, but I did not think financial ruin was on the agenda. Family members, friends, and church members offered advice and listened but all watched as we sunk.

As each door shut, more questions arose as to what was going on here. It was not a matter of working harder at the search; I had to examine my faith. Was I relying too much on myself and not letting God in? Was this a wake-up call to self-examination and the role of faith? Trying harder was not the answer.

Finally, after trying in my own strength, I turned to God. Something had to change and the answer was me. I got real with God. No masks, no fakeness, just the truth uncensored. God healed wounds I brought into the light and I had to acknowledge them. He was there; He just wanted me to lean on Him and nothing else. Adversity made me see that my faith in God was what made me seek Him more, to not lean on myself and my abilities.

When people shut the door to opportunities, it is because God wants you to seek Him. God is going to say yes to the perfect opportunity in his timing. When we face adversity of any kind, it is God who allows man to shut the door. I was forced to confront the role of adversity and found that when I seek God more consistently and draw close to Him, He is right there. He helps us in times of trouble.

Because of all the aforementioned issues, the pandemic did not affect us as much as some individuals because to us this was just one more thing. Focusing on God instead of the door that was shut provided much needed perspective. My life changed in a positive direction because of my improved relationship with God, and as a result doors started to open because God allowed it. I completed the Empower Program, I worked while in the midst of the pandemic, and began volunteering at a non-profit. All of this was possible because God said ‘yes’ to the opportunities He had for me.

Jesus said, “Come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” He quieted the storms in my life because I finally got out of the boat and kept my eyes on Him.

Currently, Gail is working as Clerical Support at a tax consultation firm. She is blessed to be married 26 years to her wonderful husband Todd and has 4 amazing nephews. Her interests are all things Mets, writing, volunteering, and reading.

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